Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.
But the the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
The husband says "WHAT ???" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a women.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. he walks around and had her try on three expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.
And then goes to the jewelry dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it."
The wife is jumping up and down . So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go to the cash register."
The husband says, "no no no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wifes face was blank.
"No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then her husband says; "You must be out of tune with my finacial needs as a MAN!
WIFE ASKS HER HUSBAND:
" HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?"
HUSBAND SAYS PROUDLY:
"ONLY YOU DARLING; WITH ALL THE OTHERS I WAS AWAKE!"