This is me

[chrisd]

Hi Rob thanks for the message.

With regards to the early menopause we still think that it is just over the horizon but as the Mrs is still having regular periods then egg donation shouldnt be a problem, even if the menopause did hit fast then it still wouldnt be a problem it would just mean extra drugs.

The waiting list is about a year and we have been on the list for exactly a year, we should receive a letter in the next week or 2 giving us an idea of exactly when a donor will be available but because the Mrs is Dark hair, pale skin and of average height it wont be too hard to match her up with someone suitable.  I am just glad that she isnt a 6 foot, blonde haired japenese woman as we might be waiting for eternity ha ha.

We have attended lots of conferences regarding egg donation and all things to do with fertility as we get to know in advance when they are as T works for the NHS.

We are feeling really positive about this whole procedure now as the problem we have in conceiving is being taken away i.e. the egg we still hope and pray that some miracle will happen and it will all occur naturally but at least we have this now to keep us occupied.

When we went to see the consultant we asked if there was anything we could do to help us achieve a better chance, the reply we were given was "have lots of sex" now the old headache is no excuse as it is Dr's orders ha ha.


Anyway best be off now.

Chris

[chrisd]

Off to see the counsellor in a while, hope its not too intense as I have a really bad back, not had any sleep and th last thing I need right now is to be getting deep and personal.

Oh hey, its all for the good though.

Chris

[mensfe_admin]

Hi Chriss - sorry to hear about the back - as you are aware I say very little but always listening -Trust the counselling goes well today.
Comment:
"The counsellor should be there for you" and I would imagine it is all about the things/issues you have already turned over in your minds and spoke about a hundred times regards treatment options/issues/emotions.
If it is implications counselling with regards to egg donation it's specific aim is to assist you both with a deeper understanding, clarity and self empowerment.
It is designed for you to have any unanswered questioned answered - it is your life, your journey, your future which you have both worked very hard to acheive - today is another step in stone to - maximising your chances, working towards your goal.

It is the counsellors aim to be there for you - Good luck in acheiving your goal - "your much wanted baby".  
 

[chrisd]

Thanks

It was quite a good session actually, I just woke up in a bit of a grump this morning.

We had quite a few questions answered and it helps us with our understanding of the process.

We found out about the sibling register which I found a little daunting, I understand the need for the child to understand about the process but I find this a little hard to digest, it seems as though we are told that the child will be ours but when it reaches 18 it is possible for it to go out and find any half siblings that it may have. This I find a little difficult to get my head around.

I understand that the child needs to be clear on the whole process and but what next? A grandparents register, a Auntie and Uncle register.  It is difficult enough for my partner to come to terms with the fact that she is not going to be able to produce an egg that can be used herself, then have to come to terms withegg donation but to find out now that the child can trace any siblings further adds to the fact that this child is not hers genetically.

I am sure we will talk about it in more detail and realise that it is all to do with our journey.

Chris

[chrisd]

Well its off to the clinic today to meet with the egg donation co-ordinator.

Hopefully she should be able to give us some kind of idea about how long we will be waiting for a suitable donor.

I'll keep you all informed as to how it goes.

It seems awfully lonely on this site at the moment.

Chris

[mensfe_admin]

Hi Chriss - yes itis quite - we are promoting the site through the fertility show in November which always boosts the activity - so hopefully...
But Chriss although alone at the moment - thankyou for supporting so many.

Hope all goes well with the egg donation if you need any clarity to the process and programmes available let us know - we have a huge amount of experience in this area.

Good luck

[robbyb]

Sends guilt... :
I've been really absent, Chris, I'm so sorry.
Just got my BT Broadband finally set up and, believe it or not, this was the first site I checked to see if it was working.
I,m on my knees in my attic at the moment, with boxes and wires and useless instruction booklets all around me.  I'll be around soon, I promise.
I know it's lonely, and I have been rubbish at keeping up to date ... but I am here and will post more soon.

All th ebest mate,

Rob

[robbyb]

Hi Chris,
How did it go with the donor coordinator?
Are you going to have a long wait?
Rob

[chrisd]

Hi all.

Rob it went good with the co-ordinator, it could be anytime between now and a years time, so we just have to hang fire.

Sorry I havent been on for so long but things have been a bit tough lately, I think we both may be suffering with depression and it is starting to affect out relationship, Tracy blames herself for this but how can it be her fault, its no-ones fault.

There have been so many children born into my family over the last year and its really taking its toll, 1 nephew, 2 neices, 2 cousins and a partrige in a pear tree.  We cannot develop proper relationships with them and it is really upsetting us both, we get so emotional and jealous.  We have just had a big family wedding last weekend and it was child city, so needless to say there were lots of emotions.

Tracy thinks that my family blame her for not being able to give me a child, excuse the language but thats bollocks, I really believe that they just dont know what to say to us and with that they may come across as uncaring or unsympathetic but I dont think they can empathise as much as I think we need them too (hope that makes sense).

The world is a cruel place sometimes and I dont know what I can do to stop my wonderful partner from blaming herself and being so upset all the time.  I am sure we can work this out and come out the other end stronger but its hard times at the moment, I will just try to be strong for her and let her know how much I love her.


Chris

[chrisd]

Well its been a funny few weeks in the Chris household.

We have been told that there have been quite a few donors coming into our clinic recently that match our profile so we have been told it could be anytime in the new year.

Tracy was also diagnosed with something which I am not going to go into detail about as she would kill me but it is a dormant problem that can go unnoticed if not tested for, it was only a fluke that it was found out as our consultant just wanted to explore some more things, the thing is tho that she has succesfully completed treatment and after doing some research we have found out that it can have an impact on getting pregnant. So you never know that could have been a factor in all this.  We are lucky though as its not usually tested for so we are lucky it was found, its not serious but at least is been found.

Also we are now happy Godparents to the beautiful little Arwen who is my cousins baby, she is a lovely little thing and we are so excited about being asked to be her Godparents, we are both smitten with her.

It good news to hear about both Rob and Bens success stories and it gives me hope for the future as I hope it does the many of other people who use this site.

Sorry about my mood swings lately everyone but for all you guys out there in a similar situation I hope you can understand the feelings of self pity and anger.


But its nearly Christmas and time for my inner child to appear and at the time of reaing I am looking out onto a snowy picture in Sheffield and may just build a snowbaby tomorrow ha ha.

Seasons greetings everyone and good wishes and hope to you all.

Chris

[chrisd]

Happy New Year to everyone at mensfe and all you readers, I hope it is a good year for you all.

Chris

[chrisd]

Is there anyone out there??

Its so quiet on here, Im beginning to feel like I am talking to myself.

Chris

[robbyb]

Hi Chris, my friend.
It does seem very dead on here, doesn't it?
I hope you're doing ok. I'm glad we managed to link up a little on Facebook but I know I've left you very quiet on here.  Sorry about that mate.
I'm still here to talk too though, and don't forget that I still feel passionately regarding the topics of IVF and infertility and those people who are mired in it.  So, if you want to talk, rant or just let of steam I will still be here.
I may be back on the roller coaster sometime, anyway, because my wonderful wife is already wanting to try for a boy! We'll see.

Take it easy, Chris. I hope Tracy is well.
Rob.
P.S. Any news on a donor? I know it's very soon but i thought I'd ask.

[chrisd]

Hi All

Cheers Rob, your a pal. I understand you not being on here much you must have been rushed off your feet with the twins, I see your posts on facebook and the pictures of your girls, they are beautiful by the way, must take their looks from their Mum eh, ha ha, only joking.

Well I have just had the most nerve wracking yet wonderful phonecall, WE HAVE A DONOR woooooooooooo hooooooooooooo.  But the scary part is that it all starts on Tuesday, it is Saturday now. I cant believe it 3 days. I thought we would get more notice but at least it doesnt give us much time to think about it. The donor is a perfect match to my lady so it is full steam ahead. I think I might have to call Anne tomorrow (she is the donor co-ordinator) to ask her some more questions as the phone call is a blank now and lots of questions are coming to mind.

We are so flipping excited.

I know it has been quiet on here posts wise but I know that people are looking in and I just hope that I can bring you some good news, I will be posting regularly to keep you updated, please keep your fingers crossed for me.


A very excited and nervous Chris

[mensfe_admin]

We are with you - good luck