Hi all
It's great to find a forum that caters to the male side of fertility issues so thought I'd post my story so far. Have been inspired by Chris, Rob and Art to do so.
My wife and I are about to go through IVF. In around a fortnight, my wife will start self-injecting the prescribed drugs to start the process.
We had concerns about our fertility levels before we started trying for children. My wife has endometriosis and has had two laperoscopies to alleviate the symptoms in the last couple of years. I was diagnosed in my teens with varicocelli (sp?) - varicose veins on my left testicle (apparently it's almost always on the left?) and they said it could cause some problems later on.
We therefore started trying for a baby within a couple of months of getting married in 2009. We were advised by my wife's consultant from the laperoscopies to make it sooner rather than later before the endometriosis came back.
Each month has been difficult, especially for my wife who can physically feel when it's not worked and her period has come. I must admit that I was living in a kind of naive bubble and was able to forget about things, but for my wife it's been constantly nagging away at the back of her mind.
Just before a year had passed from starting to try, we decided to make attempts to get things professionally looked at. This was not as easy a process as we thought. My wife went to the GP first. They said it would be the endometriosis, and that I wouldn't need to be checked. They referred her back to the consultant who disagreed and said I should. I duly gave my sample (at the place I went to it was very discretely handled) and the results were posted to me, not the GP. We saw the GP and they said there was nothing the matter with the results and they looked normal. However when I had a look at them something didn't add up. My results said volume 5m. Then there was a column which I assumed was what the result should be. That said >20m. We contacted the consultant who sent a letter saying that in fact the results looked "slightly" low and that we should seek a referral to assisted conception from the GP. So back to a different GP who apologised and said that actually my results did look low and that she would be referring us to the assisted conception unit. By the time we were seen by them I had had a second test. He confirmed the news that the reason for us not conceiving naturally so far was mainly down to my sperm count. My first test was 5m, second was 7m, showing a "moderately to severely low" sperm count. I felt my head swell and my face flush with the embarrassment of it. All this hassle every month, my wife convinced it was down to her endometriosis, but actually it was me. The doctor told us that we may be able to do normal IVF but there was also a chance that we may have to do ICSI depending on the sperm quality from the sample I will give during the cycle.
Surprisingly I actually felt quite good going out of the building that day. I think that even though it was my end of things that wasn't working for us at least we knew the problem and there was a chance that we could still have a baby together.
I must admit that at this time I'm not feeling any massively strong feelings. I am excited about the process but I guess I'm trying not to build it up because I am realistic about the chances of failure. I want a child desperately, but especially for my wife who is the sweetest, kindest person you could ever want to meet (I know I'm biased though ::)). She deserves everything she wants in life. So I will be praying that this process pays off for us.
After having read stories on here, I know how fortunate I am that we are in a position where this has a realistic chance of coming off. I know that I will never take my children for granted if God willing I get to be a Dad one day.
Thanks all and I'll keep you posted 8)
Matt
Hi Matt, welcome to the forum. There are a lot of people who read here but don't post, so it's nice to have someone else joining in, and hopefully we can help if there's anything that you want to get off your chest.
I know what you mean about feeling positive when you find out that IVF is a real possibility and then make the decision to go ahead. It feels like you've stopped trying the same thing every month, which fails every month, and are doing somethng different that should have a better chance of success. It's not quite a case of stopping rolling the dice every month and trying to just turn them to the right number, but maybe it's more like rolling two dice rather than one...
It looks like we'll both be going through things at around the same time, so I think we'll both be active on the forum over the next couple of months.
Good luck!
Hi Matt
Welcome to mensfe, I have found this site a great help over the years and I hope it does the same for you.
As Art has mentioned there are a lot of views on this site but not many replies, do not let this put you off though as I have made a close confidant in Rob and have stayed in touch after the birth of his daughters.
I have not been on here as much recently but that has mainly been due to studying like mad for a final exam I have coming up this week but I will be on more as we are only days away from starting our next cycle of treatment.
I hope you wife takes to the drugs well and that you can be there for eachother thoughout the process. I will not lie to you, it can be an extremely difficult time going through treatment and especially the 2 week wait but as long as you are there for eachother and try to stay positive then good things can happen.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, I hope that this is only a short visit for you and you get everything you dream for.
All the best.
Chris
Hi all,
Quick update on progress.
My wife has started injecting the hormone supressant required to stop her body destroying eggs. Tomorrow she starts the injections to release all those eggs into the follicles. Think that's right anyway!
So far, so good. Went for a scan and a blood test this Monday and all was well and we were given the OK to proceed.
Been trying to be a model husband by doing something called "housework". Early days on whether that will last or not!
No side effects so far with the drugs, but this new injection tomorrow will be the tester. Then there's another one later on too so as I said, early days.
Hope all's well with everyone else.
Fingers crossed
Matt
We're a little behind you, as MWW is still only a week into the hormone suppressants. Won't do the stimulation for another fortnight or so.
Good luck with it all.
Hi all, here's where we're up to.
Egg collection and sperm donation went ahead last Wednesday (15th). The process was very painful for my wife despite tamazapan and a cocktail of other painkilling drugs. She did very well though and we got 10 eggs. The other good news was that my count was up from 7m on the last one to 17m this time. The hospital staff therefore advised us to go for normal IVF rather than ICSI.
We then had the anxious wait. The first day we were alled to be informed that out of 6 that had fertilised, only 3 had survived to day 2. Must admit I was gutted that we only had that many. When I was hearing that there was a 70% success rate with egg fertilisation I was very hopeful of having 5 to freeze. Turns out that was a bit naive. A friend of my wife says that eggs moving to blastocyst stage (day 5) outside is quite low odds, something I wasn't told earlier.
Good news was that 2 survived to day 3 which was the day that they decided to implant (last Saturday). Procedure was less painful this time and was implanted fine. There was a race to see which egg would be implanted. On the morning of the implant both had 5 cells. One pipped the other to the post and had developed an extra cell by the time of implant in the afternoon. On Monday we found out the other one hadn't progressed any futher. Really does bring to mind how lucky any of us are to be here! So unfortunately no embryos to freeze to try again which means we'll have to pay to go private next time. We did get given a picture of the egg before it was implanted with its six cells. Difficult to reconcile this with the possibility of it becoming a person.
We find out on Wednesday this week whether my wife is preganant or not. I think because of the fact the others have all not developed, we're bracing ourselves for the worst. I really can't imagine how I'll react on the day though. I'm more worried about my wife who is dreading the return to work and the continuing questions and comments, especially as three women she works with are currently on maternity leave and there will be inevitable natter about babies and the like.
Just praying I post on here again with good news (and that I read good news from all of you)
Best of luck int he world to everyone
Matt
Fingers crossed Matt. Perhaps not quite what you were hoping for, but at least you got an embyro which was developing when implanted. That's got to be a good start!
MWW is having intensive monitoring this week, due to risk of ovarian hyperstimulation, but eggcollection could be as early as Friday...
Unfortunately, she's been ill this weekend, with a dodgy tum, headaches and fever. We're hoping that it has no impact on this cycle, but it can't help...
Hi Matt,
Fingers crossed for you both, hopefully we will both be able to put some good news on here soon.
We had a similar situation with our donated eggs, we had 7 and they all fertilized but that then went to 5 after day 2 and we had them frozen, we then lost 2 during thawing and the one we had implanted had begun to over stimulate. Luckily the 2 we had left thawed well and have now been implanted, we dicided on 2 for the better odds, like yourself if this doesnt work we will have to go private but have considered going abroad.
But for now we will just hope and pray that it works for us all.
Good luck Matt.
Chris
Thanks fellas, best of luck to you too!
Results day is tomorrow. This sounds terrible but I think we've both almost accepted it hasn't worked this time. I feel that way mainly because my wife seems dead certain it hasn't worked. I'm obviously try to say the right things to not give up yet, but have been feeling especially in the last couple of days that if anyone would know, it would be her!
Sorry to spread a negative vibe here and I pray I'm wrong, it's just the way I've been feelng in the last couple of days. Maybe it's the interminable wait that's caused it. Another reason i guess is because we been trying so hard to not get too excited perhaps it's gone too far the other way?
Anyways, I'll slap myself out of it for tomorrow and I'll let you know how it goes.
Cheers for the support
Matt
Good luck to you both, you never know how it will turn out.
Chris
I hope that it did work out for you, but if not then please just give each other a hug and take a while to enjoy normal life before thinking too much about it all again.
Best wishes to you both.
Have been umming and errring about whether to post this or not as I know things are difficult for everyone at the moment. I hope I don't cause anyone any upset by posting this.
However, we have had some fantastic news. We found on Wednesday that my wife is pregnant. Pregnancy hormone is at a level of 125 which apparently is very good.
It's obviously early days and we have a long way to go. Next step is for a blood test next week. They are hoping to see an increased hormone level to around 1000.
I hope this news gives everyone a little bit of hope, which is the intention of posting it. I really wish everyone the best of luck with your own stories. I'll let you know how we're getting on and I'm praying for similar good news for you Art and Chris in the near future.
Matt
That's fantastic news Matthew! :)
Many congratulations on that news!
Thanks Art
Just trying to keep calm and not get too excited yet....
We thought we were all done for this cycle so just goes to show you never know!
As I've said tho, tis Early Days.
Matt
Congratulations Matt to you both. I'm over the moon for you. 125 is excellent.
Thanks Chris.
Had second blood test yesterday. Hormone levels now at 988. Docs are very pleased so we are too!
Great news! Glad to hear all is on track.
Thats brilliant news Matt. We have our on Monday. Will be so much happier after that. Are you at Jessops? You never know we could have been Sat next to each other at some stage.
Thanks fellas.
Yes Chris we are at Jessops so who knows? ;)
Our next step is to go for a scan to check if the pregnancy is ectopic.
Apparently a give away can be when hormone levels fluctuate a lot.
Will keep my fingers crossed that the scan goes well and doesn't show an ectopic.
Thanks Art. Hoping we all get good news with our next appointments!
Hope you and your wife are feeling good Matt.
Chris
Hi Matt
I hope your scan went well, we have ours tomorrow.
All the best.
Chris
Hi all, apologies for the lack of contact, busy times at work and at home. Visitors up to stay, DIY madness etc!
Thanks for your good wishes. The scan went great and we are in the same position as Chris, I am pleased to report. Midwife comes round on Monday morning and we have been discharged from the Assisted Conception Unit!
We also saw the baby's heartbeat which is a fantastic, overwhelming experience. Again we're waiting till 12 weeks to inform the public at large, we are 8 weeks as of today. The due date is two days before my wife's birthday so a funny little coincidence there!
Just trying to savour every day of this time as we've wanted it so badly.
Best of luck to you all out there!
Hi Matt
That is fantastic news, I am over the moon for you.
Chris
I hope the appointment with the midwife went well.
We are off to the doc's after work today so hopefully the midwife visit wont be too far away.
Thanks Chris and Art
Saw the MW on Monday. It was an initial chat, we got the big pregnancy book from the NHS plus we were asked about family histories etc. Only medical thing was to check blood pressure.
Next appointment is the 12 week scan. We've been quite calm about it all recently but I doubt that will last!
Matt
Got 12 week scan a week tomorrow. Hopefully all will be progressing nicely. Looking forward to telling the world shortly afterwards! Hope all is well with everyone :)
Ignore my last message, I read your post wrong.
Good luck with the scan today Matt.
All the best.
Chris
Hey all,
12 week scan went really well. Baby is wiggling around and could see arms and legs! It wasn't lying the right way so we had to go for a walk to see if it would move and then go back but it wasn't co-operating (My wife says it must be a boy as it takes after his Dad - nice)! This meant we couldn't do the usual check for Downs but will be having a blood test at 15 weeks anyway which should give us some indication.
We also saw a consultant (after an hour and a half wait - all told we were in the hospital for about 4 hours!) as we were IVF and she said we get an additional scan at 32 weeks as IVF can lead to increased risk of premature birth and other complications. The 32 week scan should give us some warning of this I hope.
Have now been telling extended family and friends who have all been really excited for us and it really feels like I'm living in a bubble at the moment. Keep welling up at random moments!
Hope all is going well with you, Chris and Art :)
Fantastic news Matt.
Roll on the next 6 months now.
Enjoy everything that comes with the joy of pregnancy.
All the best
Chris
Thanks Matt. Enjoy the rest of the pregnancy and being a father!
Thank you guys and thanks for all your support during the process.
After reading your post Chris, it makes sense to perhaps scale back the comments for a while and hope that others will decide to post and tell their stories.
I realise I've been so lucky to be at this point after round 1 of IVF. I'm eternally grateful and all being well in around 6 months we'll be even more so.
Good luck to everyone out there, it's all worth it. It really is :)
Matthew - Thanks for your PM. I do appreciate it, although on this occasion I'm not going to respond, since I do want to keep the anonymity which this site allows.
I am intrigued, I think Art is an international spy or a Rock star ha ha.
I understand about the anonymity Art, it meant a lot to me in the early days of posting but now my view on that has changed.
Chris
Quote from: chrisd on 2011-09-15 15:23
I am intrigued, I think Art is an international spy or a Rock star ha ha.
That's pretty much it...I wish! :)
It's more the case that I agreed with my wife that I'd keep this anonymous, especially in the event that we'd needed to go for donor eggs/sperm (although that didn't actually happen for us), so that our son/daughter finds out from us first, rather than having this thread come up through a google search for my name in ten years time or something!
No worries at all Art. It's the great bonus of the internet to keep your anonymity in situations like this.
To update, we're at 33wks and prepping now for little one's arrival. It can happen!
Good luck to everyone!
Matt
Cant believe how quick it has all gone pal, we're 33 weeks to and it is flying by.
All the best
We're currently at 31 weeks. MWW is having a few complications (similar to the first time we went through this) with "cholestasis of pregnancy" which basically means that her liver is having trouble so she gets very itchy. Not too serious, but means that they are likely to deliver her early, potentially around the start of March.
We might all be becoming Dads at the same time! Keeping my fingers crossed guys.
Good luck Matt.
I hope your nerves are holding.
Rob