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Author Topic: What makes me angry.  (Read 7330 times)
Paulz
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Hi everyone, I'm Paulz. Married 15 years no children due to Oligospermia.
In all the time that has pasted since 1995 when I was diagnosed with oligospermia, there is still one thing regarding infertility that still makes me angry.
Why didn't I learn about it at school as part of sex education lessons?
Why don't pupils in class discuss such issues as donor eggs/sperm, adoption, etc.?
How would this benefit them in life?
Will it encourage people (especially men) to be tested sooner in life,? instead of falling in love, trying to conceive,and discovering infertility for themselves?
Is it right that we should all assume fertility until proven otherwise?
Or should we all have the right to know at the stage of adolescence that some people have this condition?
On the contrary, will telling pupils about infertility give them an it's ok to have sex attitude 'cos we won't get pregnant'?
Bearing in mind, what is the motive for sex education? to teach young people about growing up? or to reduce the UK's teenage pregnancy rate?
Is it the job of an Andrologist to explain to a 30 year old male what Donor Insemination means? because he has never heard of it?
Had I known what I now know 20 years ago, I would have been able to make more informed decisions with regard to planning my life, the person I chose to marry would have had a better idea of what she was letting herself in for, and I probably would have been able to except the condition sooner in life when my opinions were more easily influenced, instead of at a time when they are already set in concrete.
Thanks for reading my post. Any opinions pro or con are very appreciated. PAULZ
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mensfe_admin
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Posts: 264


« Reply #1 : »

Hi Paulz,
Many thanks for posting your comment and I think a lot of guys would agree with what you say. Unfortunately there is still a very widespread assumption that 'everything will be OK' and of course for most people it is. However, for those of us who find out we cannot have children its an even bigger bolt out of the blue.
In my view sex education today is more about sex that choosing partners or having family, and so infertility is bound not to be covered.
Mind you I would also have to say that I am not angry anymore - perhaps its just that time passes - perhaps its just that the anger did not really achieve anything. I don't know the reason, I just know I am glad I am not angry and of course that's why we want men to share their stories here at mensfe. The more we tell our stories the more men may come to realise that having a family is not just an automatic event. Perhaps in sharing our stories we can also get soem of our anger out?
Thanks again Paulz
Rob
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robbyb
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Posts: 86


« Reply #2 : »

Hi Paulz, welcome to the forum.

I don't know mate, I don't know.
I'm just not sure that simply educating kids about infertility would make more of them sit up and take note.
As I recall, it was either a room full of cripplingly embarassed kids or sniggering adolescents... I just wonder if they would pick this aspect of it as the part to take note of for the future.
Also, there is always the "It'll never happen to me" aspect to be taken into account.

We've all been told about cancer and I'm sure a number of people reading this will ultimately die of the disease... but how many of us have had the foresight to go and get checked out without good reason to do so?  Education doesn't necessarily make people turn and face problems... I think obese people know they're obesce and know what the consequences may be... but that doesn't mean they are more equipped to manage it.

I feel for you mate, I really do.  I truly hope that in 15 years time I'm in a very different position... but, who knows?  I've been angry, I'm angry now and I don't know how I'll be in the future.

Thanks for sharing, buddy.

Rob
« Last Edit: by robbyb » Logged
chrisd
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Posts: 181


« Reply #3 : »

I agree, sex education in this country is joke.  How when you are a teenager can you seriously take a middle aged man smelling of stale coffee and cigerettes seriously when he tells you about the birds and the bees?

I believe that sex education should be a bigger part of the syllabus and be taught by highly trained professionals who explain everything from contraception to infertility.

There are too many kids having kids and this needs to stop.
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