This is me

[chrisd]

I am trying not to get carried away with excitement, I will breath a sigh of relief when we pass the 12 week mark.

Got our scan tomorrow so fingers crossed all goes well.

Chris

[chrisd]

Hi all

The scan went brilliantly yesterday, the baby is measuring perfectly for 6 weeks, the yolk is good and the nurse could see that it has imbedded well into the wall of the womb.  We also saw its heartbeat, it was the most amazing sight I have ever seen, I havent stopped smiling since.

The nurse didnt check the heart rate but I was trying to count and I couldnt keep up so I that is a good sign.

We have now been discharged and the next step today is to contact the doctor to arrange for the mid wife to come and visit.

Only 6 weeks to go before we can tell everyone, we are busting at the seams to tell people as only a select few are privvy at the mo (as well as all of you) but we are waiting until after the next milestone.

All the best
A very happy Chris

[art]

Wow! That must be great.

We're really looking forward to the first week in August when we have our scan.

[matthew]

Amazing Chris. It's just indescribable when that moment arrives.

Really pleased it's going well so far.

Best of luck with the midwife! When is your due date? We're Mar 7th.

Matt

[chrisd]

We are still waiting to get in to see our GP, they are useless but we have an appointment early next week so hopefully then the midwife will get sorted.

Our due date is 12th March which just so happens to be my wonderful Mrs's Grandma's birthday and they were extremely close so hopefully that is a good sign.

Chris

[matthew]

We are still waiting to get in to see our GP, they are useless but we have an appointment early next week so hopefully then the midwife will get sorted.

Our due date is 12th March which just so happens to be my wonderful Mrs's Grandma's birthday and they were extremely close so hopefully that is a good sign.

Chris

It's amazing how differently things are done, even between different GPs in the same city!  Ours my wife rang up then a midwife called back and made an appointment, didn't need to go into the GP?  NHS... sigh.

Anyway, funny how these little date coincidences crop up.  I'm sure that's a good sign for the coming months.

Best of luck
Matt

[chrisd]

Hi Matt

We thought that the doc would just contact the mid wife but when we contacted the GP they said that it would be best if we came in, I am quite annoyed about it all to be honest as they offered us appointments which due to work we could not attend as we didnt want to keep taking advantage of our bosses good nature (even though they would have understood).

We thought that about about the dates to and when we were given the due date my partner cried as it meant so much to her.

All the best
Chris

[matthew]

That's nice. You've been waiting a long time. Must be nice to shed some tears for a good reason.

Hopefully you'll get that appointment quickly.

Matt

[chrisd]

Hi all

Well we went for our 12 weeks scan today and all is progressing well, we are over the moon and can't wait to start telling everyone.

Now is the time for me to say thank you so much to Mensfe, if it had not been for this site I think I would have gone stir crazy. I found this site purely by accident and at the beginning I used it to lurch on other peoples posts to see what other people were going through.  After a while I plucked up the courage to post and on 11th May 2009 I finally wrote down my feelings, fears and hopes about everything that was going off in my life and our struggle to conceive.

It turned out that this was the best therapy that I could have wished for as it helped me to get things off my chest, it helped me to realise that I was not alone, it helped me to talk to other people in similar situations and realise that the way I was feeling was perfectly normal and it helped me when I made associations with other men who would not judge or make assumptions about my little rants and accept that it was all part of being in the position in life that I found myself in.

I cannot say thank you enough to Rob for all the advice and support that he has given me over the years and I have never known such a connection with someone I have never met, let alone spoke to. We do hope to change that in the future though as I look at him as being a great friend and hopefully someone I can share many more life experiences with. Also thanks to Ben and Eric, in the early days you both helped me and with your own stories. I was so happy when I found out that firstly Ben and his wife were pregnant and then Rob and his wife. I hope everything is going is going well with Ben his baby must be at least 18 months now. I know that Rob is having a brilliant time being a Dad to his beautiful twin girls and I also hope that many of the men who looked but never spoke are now happy
Dad's and enjoying the privilege of being a parent. I hope as well that my story has helped people in their own way by realising that there are other people out there in the same boat, feeling the same things and just wanting to know they are not alone.  In over 2 years 9000 have viewed this post and I know that is not down to the people I have mentioned above.
I also want to thank Matt and Art and to be honest I am in total amazement that the 3 men on here who actively post are all going to become fathers within the space of 2 weeks, knowing you both were going through every stage with me has helped me greatly I also send you both our wishes and hope that your pregnancies are happy ones and that your babies are fit and healthy. Good luck to you both and good luck to all the other 9000+ people who have looked at and read about boring old me ranting, crying and now being the happiest man in the world.

Now come the time when it is time for chrisd to sign off, I know this an infertility website and even though I am sure you are all happy for me I feel that it is not appropriate of me to post as much as I have been doing, I now will only be posting when I feel I can offer something to any of you or to catch up on updates from Art and Matt. This is not to say though that I will vanish completely, I will keep a look out for any newbie's and you oldies too, hoping that you all get what you want from life.
Again thank you to everyone associated with mensfe, you have helped a man to keep his sanity and for that I will be eternally grateful, this site has helped me more than I can explain and I hope that it continues to help men in our situation by giving them the portal to express themselves at this very difficult and emotional stage of our life.

All the best to each and every one of you and thank you once again.
Chris

[art]

Chris - Really glad to hear that your 12 week scan went well, and I'm looking forward to ours in a few weeks time (it's been delayed to 13w+3 rather than 12w due to some unavoidable commitments that MWW and I have). Enjoy telling everyone. It's up to you, but personally I plan to tell everyone that it was as a result of IVF, as a conscious effort to make people aware that IVF is needed for some people and can work (especially in my own case of secondary infertility, where everyone assumes that "everything down there obviously works because you've done it once"...).

I completely agree with you about the value of this site, and think that it's a real shame more men don't choose to post themselves. Hopefully those of us who have been posting have helped out some people even if they've not posted themselves. I plan to keep having a look in every so often to see if there are people who I can respond to and help out. It was really nice that Robby posted on my thread a few times, and I certainly don't feel that it's inappropriate for those of us who have been through it to offer to help out where we can.

Best wishes for the future, and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and your time as a father. The hours, days, months and years will start to fly by, so enjoy them while you're there!

[chrisd]

Yes Art I agree, we are being very open with everyone with regards to our pregnancy, not only will our child be an IVF baby but also an egg donation baby, it is definatly something that we will not hide from people or our child. It is something that without there is little chance that we would have had the chance to be parents.  I think that infertility should be brought to the forefronts of peoples minds especially in an age where more people are leaving having a family until later in life, it is not as easy to have a baby as we are made out to believe when we are young and with everything that comes with the trauma of infertility, the hurt, the anguish and the mourning of someone you have never met all needs to be brought to the forefront of people's thinking.

But luckily with the help of IVF, the donor and the love that both me and my beautiful fiancee have for each other we will be able to feel the love of having a baby, a baby that will never be taken for granted but is loved now and will be loved forever and more.

Chris

[matthew]

Really pleased that all went well Chris with the 12 week Scan.  I hope you and Art continue to give some updates over the next few months so we know things are still progressing well.

I don't think I'm alone in wanting to express my gratitude to you Chris for posting your story and helping others, many perhaps without realising it.  It certainly gave me the courage to tell my side too and to continue to post through good times and bad was a strong commitment. 

It's amazing how many people open up to you when you say your baby is IVF.  So many people have been through incredible heartbreak, whether it's through IVF or a miscarriage. You've experienced more than most Chris, so I'm sure everyone who has read your story will join me in congratulating you and your wife and wish you every happiness for the future.

Perhaps I'll see you in Jessops in a few months

All the best
Matt

[chrisd]

I hope all you mensfe'rs are well.

I just wanted to let you all know that everything is progressing well.

It would be nice to see some other people using this site, I pop on now and again but have not seen any activity.

All the best
Chris

[robbyb]

Hi Chris,
I was looking around last night and thinking just the same thing. Glad you're getting on well.
The girls have just had their FIRST BIRTHDAY!
Oh my God. Time goes by!

Have you posted and photos of Tracy on Facebook?
I'd love to see her bump!

All the best,
Rob.

P.s.  sorry if I spam you with photos on Facebook. You'll be doing it to me soon!

[chrisd]

Hi Rob

Bombard away old friend, its good to see them grow.

I have put a couple of pics of Tracy up but the camera is broken at the minute and I am waiting on Santa to deliver me a new one so its just crappy phone quality at the mo.

Chris